You know how sometimes, when you're growing in some way, even if you're not aware of it, you start to hear the same words in songs, or perhaps a certain message, coming from multiple sources? The universe usually starts by acting quietly, but if you don't pay attention, it gets louder. If you have any fear of what's to come, or the route to get there, you tend to ignore it as long as possible. Wait long enough and you might just get a slap in the face!
If you've been reading my blog, you might know I tend towards a holistic lifestyle. That includes emotionally and psychologically. I try to practice patience. I'm usually a positive-Polly kind of gal. I seek out people, experiences, and opportunities that fill my cup & bring me joy. I rarely say no (for better or worse!). One of my best friends since Kindergarten described me be saying: "...you welcome people into your home and your life with open arms" and she knew who to call when she "...wanted to do something that bent or broke the rules".
I always thought of my mom like that: a bit fearless. She passed away in 2007. When I was growing up I remember our door was always open to anyone who needed a friend, a meal, a bed, you name it. It wasn't always easy, but it was great. My mom was anincluder. She wanted in on everything and wanted to bring everyone along. She made friends everywhere she went, wasn't afraid to talk to anyone about anything, and was steadfastly loyal. She seemed to have no social fear and a lack of self-consciousness. I always wanted to be like her in that regard so when one of my besties thinks that I reflect those qualities I loved most about my mom, I take it as a huge compliment. It made me feel really, really good. It also made me think that perhaps I come across as rather fearless to others. And to be honest, that thought surprised me, because I don't tend to think of myself that way.
Or at least I didn't...
Fear is definitely an emotion I wish I had been better at managing in my early 20's. I wasn't always so proactive or even positive about life and my role in my own life. I had a lot of social fears and was overly self-conscious. I've come a long way, yet I've got some more to go. I tend to think it all started back in 2004 when I did a yoga teacher training through Core Power back in Minneapolis. Maybe it started even earlier than that, back in undergrad. I wasn't as good about dealing with emotional things back then, but I was learning. Looking back now, so much of what is coming into my life now echoes what I was learning then.
Funny how it all comes full circle.
I recently posted a webinar about emotions and how they affect our every day. As I researched and prepared for the webinar, I learned and revisited ideas of how to become aware of, and change, your beliefs; suggestions for essential oils that can help you manage emotions, take care of your brain health, and ultimately start creating the life you want to have. Then one day, when I was working on something, I can't recall what now, I came across the website of woman named Jen Mavros. As I read through the site and listened to some of the free meditations, I had this feeling that I was supposed to work with her in some fashion. I wasn't sure what exactly that was, so I just kept exploring. Then I kept seeing her pop up in different places and I knew I had to contact her. Fear crept up and told me not to.
But I did it anyway...
And we spoke...and e-mailed...
And she generously agreed to let me interview her and share it with you all!
You'll see that same saying above "Believe there is good in the world" on the wall behind Jen. I love it. I've adopted it as my second life motto, right next to "What you put in, on, and around your body matters". As I learn more about various topics and passions of mine, I like to share and pass them on. I like to think that I'm sharing and being the good I want to see and experience in the world. You never know who is ready for it or needs it, right now. So, I'm sharing this interview because there are so many gems, including:
If you are in a place in your life where you are experiencing fear or are ready for change, perhaps you are starting a business, or contemplating what comes next, or perhaps you've just got a hot minute...watch this one. It's a good one! So you know, Jen is pretty straight-up, so there are a few four-letter words thrown out in this one. I like a straight-up approach, so that's why Jen's my jam. Oh, and this is about 30 minutes, so grab a glass or a mug of something and cozy up!
Getting to back to fear, which is where this post began, I'm a believer that speaking a fear out loud, even typing it, can help you get past it. Once it's out there, you can recognize it, give it hug, punch it in the face, and get on with it. That hug part is pretty darn important. If you can't sit with it and understand it, then you can't get to the root of it. Recognizing the root of it allows you to pull it out. Then you can punch it in the face :)
Most fear is probably a fear of pain of some sort; the pain of rejection, the pain of disappointment. We all have it. Les Brown says, "You are either going to feel the pain of growth or the pain of regret". I love that. I mean really, if we are all going to experience pain anyway in some fashion, why not experience the pain that will get you the most mileage in your life? Releasing fear and worry allows you to love and put your best self out there, which the world needs. We need you and your best, inspired self.
So here's my fear. Ready? I definitely have a fear of not being perfect and of failing.(maybe a teacher thing?) Sometimes that leads to inaction...which leads to feeling even less perfect and even more of a failure. I also have a fear of success, as weird as that sounds. I worry that I won't be able to handle it, maybe I'll mess it up or push it away.
When I look at my life, all 37 (almost) years of it, there is little evidence I've failed horribly or wasn't able to handle my own success. So, since I don't have any proof otherwise, I'm going on faith that those fears really are false, False Evidence Appearing Real. I'm done with that. I'm ready to embrace that fear, give it a knuckle sandwich, and move the heck on.
How about you? What are you afraid of?