Let's Talk About Stress Baby

Sorry, I couldn't help myself. I love a good pun. I am my father's daughter after all.

Anyone else miss Salt n Pepa? 

image courtesy of merchdirect.com

But seriously, stress is real yo. 

Whether you're a mom at home with kids 24/7, a mom working outside of the home and trying to keep it all together, not a mom at all and simply overwhelmed with work, life, relationships, what have you, sometimes it's just too much. Over-worked, over-tired, over-committed = overwhelm. 
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Stress, in everyday terms, is that feeling we have when we are overloaded and struggling to cope with demands.

Stress is really important. It triggers all these amazing hormones that work to keep us safe. Maybe they encourage us to run away or fight, whatever their result, it's our bodies effort to keep us going. Part of this is physical. We feel our heart rate increase, we're more alert, we might sweat or feel our muscles ready to move. Part of this is emotional. We might feel scared, nervous, anxious, even excited. 

Fun fact: when those stress hormones are running through our body, our normal bodily functions, such as the digestive and immune systems, are slowed down. 

Stress can be really harmful to us as well. From chest or back pain, muscles spasm, high blood pressure and heart disease to low immunity, trouble sleeping, headaches and digestive problems, stress can wreak havoc on us physically!(source)  Stress can have an emotional impact too. In fact, for us women, it may likely be the emotional impact of stress that we notice first. It could be just a general feeling of dis-ease within ourselves, or we might be able to name it. Some of us get angry, others anxious. Sometimes it's hard to concentrate or we forget things more than we normally would. Stress can leave us feeling drained, tired all the time, irritable, sad, depressed, insecure and burnt out. Which is hard because we're supposed to have it all together, right? 

The thing is, we often assume there is something wrong with us when we feel these emotions,
that's it's all in our head,
instead of understanding our body's chemistry
and learning to manage our stress. 

Emotions, especially "negative" emotions, are not just you being weird. They're not just in your head or you being a crazy lady. Our body bodies send and receive these chemical messages ALL THE TIME. They effect and often determine our emotions, reactions, and responses. When you have those moments of stress, anxiousness, or feeling out of control, it's not just in your head. You're not crazy, you're normal. 
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The thing is, often in these moments we start to create habits of behavior to cope. Maybe we bite our nails, eat too much or too little, withdraw socially, lash out in anger, grab a drink, or simply feel restless. Whatever it is that lessens your stress response, it's serving your needs in that moment. If it's a healthy response, keep it! If not, I've got some ideas for ya. 

 
​This image. It cracks me up and yet, it's kinda my goal. The calm in the chaos. ​

We can get there. We just need some tools to help us access our parasympathetic nervous system, our rest, digest, relax and heal part of our nervous system. Instead of letting fight or flight take over, lets take a little control back, take a little perspective back, and make a decision about what's coming next so we can respond rather than react.  This is great for us as adults, and for our kids. If we want our kids to be able to do these things as well, they need us to model what it looks like and sounds like. As we get better at it, we're better able to verbalize what we're doing in the moment, and our kids can then translate that to their bodies and in their language. 

First, lets talk about four essential oils that support grounding and calm. All can be used topically and aromatically. For topical use, consider diluting them in a roller bottle and rolling over pulse points, bottoms of feet or over the heart. Aromatically you can place a few drops in a diffuser, onto diffuser jewelry, in the palms of your hand and cup to inhale. Use them before you get triggered into stress reactions. And get to know your triggers! They are different for everyone: 

• flying
• visiting the doctor
• relationships
• new places/change
• doctor visits
• public speaking/job interviews
• taking on too much

Our triggers are both unique to us and not so unique. Getting to know yours will help you to proactively manage stress before it even starts. 

​Balance: Fantastic for re-centering, Balance is the oil of grounding. It is blended of mostly from tree and root oils. It's wonderful for calming minds that have trouble calming down, and helps us reconnect with our roots, especially when the mind has taken over. It helps to bring us back down to earth and reconnect with our bodies, which we can feel really disconnected from at times of stress. 

​Console: also called the Comforting blend, contains resins and florals.  It is really good to use in moments of grief, as well as moments of transitions and change in your life. Console can help us to release burdens. These can burdens of feeling a lack of agency or power, feelings of guilt, for example.

Peace: is helpful for bringing our awareness from the outside, in. This Reassuring blend contains florals, mints and resins. It is great for those moments of stress that are provoked by fear, vulnerability, or lack of control. Instead of trying to control our environment or relationships, we can take a moment to respond to our fears and control our response. 

Serenity: the oil of Tranquility, is a blend of flowers and herbs. It is uniquely calming and supports quieting the mind and body agitation. Serenity is uniquely blended to promote restful sleep, though it perfect for moments of anxiousness and nervousness as well. For sleep, try putting a few drops in a diffuser or applying it topically 30 minutes before going to bed. 

Adding these oils to a breathing practice is a great way to manage your stress. Often in those moments, our breath moves up into our upper chest or throat and gets really shallow. Sometimes we even hold it. To activate that parasympathetic nervous system, we can use the breath in a simple pattern to make our exhale longer than our inhale.  Here's how to do it: 
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1. Bring your hands to your ribs. Inhale through the nose for a count of 3-4. Fill the rib cage first, then let the breath fill up the belly as your diaphragm drops down
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2. Exhale through the mouth for a longer count of 5-6, emptying the belly first, then feeling the ribs contract back inward.

​3. Take 5-20 of these breaths anywhere you happen to be to come to a place that is more centered and calm. 

Want some more info on these oils and this breathing technique? Check out my youtube video below, and while you're at it, subscribe to my channel! Don't you love the freeze frame moment? Couldn't be better for this topic ;)​

So, tell me. Where is your stress coming from these days? How do you tend to handle it? ​